Self - Abandonment

I was today years old when I realized when I don't show up for myself this is considered self-abandonment and this is something that was definitely taught to me. Not blaming anyone just seeing the pattern. The rebellion we work to overcome by creating OBSTACLE BUSTERS is an example of us learning to show up for ourselves - again. 

So what does it look like when we abandon ourselves. For everyone it's different. For me self-abandonment shows up as:

• Waking up late - knowing now I don't have time to carry out a helpful morning routine. 
• Binge watching a show when I haven't done any of the things I need to do to make my life run easier. 
• Prioritizing others peoples needs over my own. 

PEOPLE PLEASING: 

People pleasing comes in so many forms. Not speaking up about an issue because you don't want to make others feel uncomfortable and doing more than necessary or what I consider over-functioning so that people see your value are two very common forms of this unhealthy habit. 

Realizing the reason I was prioritizing other peoples needs was a coping mechanism to keep me safe - is what helped me overcome this obstacle. Of course this brought up a host of different scenarios I've been navigating that created feelings of guilt. The guilt that followed took me about half a year to overcome - but I did it. With reinforcements. 

Then The Law of Reciprocity brought this to my consciousness: 

My self-care practice caused me to have to make some really difficult decisions. I had to be honest with some people close to me and this caused a shift in our connection. Not something I wanted to happen but apparently unbeknownst to me something I must have needed. 

I wouldn't necessarily say I set boundaries - just more like I shared my true thoughts and feelings in areas I might have stayed quiet and just went along with things. 

Over-coming the self-abandonment obstacle is so important on our journey to more. We try so hard to hold on to the old habits and change at the same time. This does not work. I know - unconsciously I did this for years. Because often we don't really recognize how some behavior patterns are in the way of us experiencing the best version of ourselves.

The patterns become so familiar. And the brain and more so the ego craves this familiarity as a way to control our environment and keep us safe by knowing what to expect.  

REFLECTION: 

Can you identify any areas in your life where you are abandoning yourself? Areas where you know you need to be doing something different but if you did people would be upset with you, things would change, or you might be uncomfortable?

What's Next:

Let's talk about being present so that we can move past the known and into the unknown where change lives.